The Best Thing our Government made!

I remember when I was about 6 or 7 years old. My Grandma would watch me and all of my cousins because our parents either had to work or they needed a break from us. If one of us would get in trouble over Grandmas house and get a butt whippin with her wooden ruler, all of the cousins would look at the youngest cousin to see if he/she was going to laugh. If you laugh, they would snitch and say "Grandma "So and So" is laughing. After that, Grandma would whip your behind too for laughing. One time, my second eldest cousin got his behind torn up by Grandma and her ruler from hell and afterwards everyone looked at me. I smirked and said "What are yall look at?" and then they all yelled "Grandma "So and So" is laughing". I got my behind torn up by Grandma's ruler. You would of thought Grandma's ruler had an odometer or counter on it, she used it so much on our arses. I digressed. At this age however, I was exposed to a piece of history. I believe it was destiny for me to live during that time and to have witnessed and experience a phenomenon that I will never forget. This piece of history can be made a million ways. This piece of history had the following characteristics:

• It could hardly melt even in fire.
  
• It just sweats in the heat.


• When you put it on top of toast and put it in the toaster oven or broiler, it made a black burnt layer on top and it was ooey and gooey on the inside.
  
• You could slice it thick or thin.
  
• Was it made from real milk or was it oil and vinegar? I Still don't know


• It gave me comfort after a butt whoopin from grandma and her wooden ruler.


• If it had mold on it...We cut the mold off and still use it.


• It held the door open for us as a door stop when we were bringing groceries in from the car.

I'm talking about Government Cheese folks. Do you have a government cheese story? I ate so much Gub'ment cheese as a kid that till this day, I am a cheese addict. I need a hit. Give me some Cheese!! If you please!! There had to have been something in Gub'ment Cheese to make me so addictive to it. All of my cousins flocked around the table waiting for Grandma to cut some slices of cheese as if it was a turkey on Thanksgiving Day! The label on the Gub'ment cheese was simple. It just said CHEESE, USDA and some little stuff like "not for sale" or "no frills". If you need a history lesson on Gub'ment Cheese Click Here. My Aunt made the best MAC "n" Gub'ment cheese.

A sure slice of heaven!

• The Year 1984
• The Cosby Show debuts on television
• Apple Computer releases the Macintosh Computer
• Famous Jazz musician Count Basie dies
• "Whats love got to do with it" sung by Tina Turner
• The Fat Boys release the album "Jail House Rap"
• Bell (AT&T The Phone Company) had to be broken up into smaller companies because it had a monopoly on the telecommunications industry.
• MTV

In the beginning...

I remember during my early childhood, a birthday party was commenced in my honor at the age of 4 or 5 years old. For some strange reason, I can't remember anything before that. To my knowledge, there is no scientific evidence that shows a person can remember back as far as a certain age but, I remember this particular birthday party because of the Cake & Ice cream me and my cousins shared around mom's kitchen table. Till this day, I have friends that say they can remember their early childhood for example, events when they were 2 years old. Not me! I remember the moist and delicious yellow cake with thick butter cream frosting and strawberry and vanilla ice cream that was so cold it froze my two buck teeth in the front. This was no normal fat kid birthday party. I mean, don't get me wrong, my cousins were there (I had enough cousins to start an army) and my cake had Indy 500 race cars on it, but this was the beginning of something big, something extraordinary, something that changed my life for ever. This birthday party was were I learned that mixing ice cream and cake together was such a succulent treat, and it kept my two buck teeth from getting a cold shock. I think I should have had a patent before all of the Ice Cream companies started to put cookie and cake pieces in their Ice Cream. With all of their corporate dollars and shareholder investments, they are stingy with the cookie and cake pieces in the little cup of ice cream. On several occasions, I had one of those "Big Name" cups of Cookies n' Cream ice cream and all that was in their was a lump of cookie in it and the rest was ice cream. I was so pissed, that I was cussing the ice cream out and still eating it at the same time. I could picture myself going to those schmucks at the "Big Name" ice cream factory and peeing on their leg (just kidding). If I just wanted ice cream, I would of bought the brand that was $3 cheaper and in a bigger size than the "Big Name" brand. No one does the mixing of Ice Cream and Cake mixing better than me. Till this day, my 8 year old has picked up this habit and does it himself. WOW! Isn't life sweet?

• The Year 1984
• John McEnroe wins Wimbledon
• "Roxanne, Roxanne" by U.T.F.O/Hip Hop
• "Unity" by Afrikaa Bambaataa and James Brown
• Madonna shocks the world during the first MTV music awards.
• It was crazy in India! Prime Minister Indirah Gandhi was assasinated by her own body guards followed by 1,000 people killed in riots
• FAT KID MOMENT IN History: Wendy's Hamburgers commercial slogan "Where's the Beef?"